Depressed Monday

This whole day has kind of sucked. First off, there's these emotional hangovers going on. 1)My Dad and Father's Day. 2)the reaLation band, particularly Vince. 3) an amend I made to someone I feel I've hurt because of my past alcoholism. I never wanted to become an alcoholic. I belive I did it out of being hurt by my Father. and it's caused me to join this band. It's all my doing I'm sure. The angry me wants to blame everyone. Isn't it like anger to want to blame someone else..OK if depression is anger related then it would make sense...Angry=depression. I'm lonely too. ..very. and I have this personal problem that causes me to shy away from relationships. I've been putting it off too. In all of this mess, I haven't been drinking. I'm "right where I'm supposed to be" as they say. I hate when they are right. I"d prefer it my way, I guess that's part of acceptance. Some things, I just can't change. Some things I can. I need more than this..