Friday Night problem solving attempt

Wednesday I found myself, after a six pack and finishing a pack=of cigarettes, that my life is, well I need to change. I have not drank or smoked since, thought the combination is one I was finding myself visiting regularly.
You see, I don't know what came over me, but I hope it lasts. I guess I was trying to self-medicate. I have to not do that. I want to get healthy, at least healthier. Even thought I am in debt, I bought some books. I spent about $32 dollars, but I needed these, like people need air. One is called Mental Fitness, and one is called Debt Management for Dummies. I have mad debt going on, it's very serious, I've tended to ignore it. It's funny to me how I'm reading the Mental Fitness, to get ready to face the debt Head on. It's just working like that.
I'm avoiding my usuall drinking escape ritual, to face these challenges like a man. I mean I am 36 and can't pay bills, that bothers me, and it bothers me what others think about it too. My whole paycheck is spent. I am working this Saturday Night, as well as Sunday. I won't have much of a weekend, at least like I think others are having, maybe I'm wrong here? But I due to situations byoend my control, and some bad decisions I've made, I am not able to "go out"..SoI'll be up trying to face the facts, and trying not to fall asleep....