more consistency

today , I had time to go through some of my finances. I actually am trying to keep track of my habits. So in trying to review May. I noticed that I hadn't posted here, or on myspace. I did write in my morning journal that day. It seems there have been gaps, in my blogging. I guess I can't expect perfection, only progress. I'm going to try and blog more on a daily basis.
It was nice not to have to do laundry today, I forced myself to do it yesterday. Today was Mother's Day. It's a rather stressful time for me. I have love/hate issues with my Mom. Always have. I live about 40 miles away, and that's good sometimes. I don't have the money, nor did I have the emotional motivation, to try and find her. What I mean by this, is that it seems that every year, she's gone somewhere. She makes plans because I guess she thinks I won't bother. So in the past , I'd drive upstate, and not know where she is until she's done going wherever she goes. Out to eat, my Grandmother's, my sisters'. So rather than waste gas, I'd try and call. It's just that I've tried to call in the past week or so, and her phone hasn't been working. So I figured, why bother? I sent an e-card. I guess I at least owe her that. Today I was checking out, a friends myspace site. He has this one person on it, that I am totally enamoured with. She's semi-famous. I sent her a friend request. She aproved it. I commented on one of her pictures. I actually made it my wall paper because it's perfect for it. I'm sitting here with anxiety. I work for a corporate company, and all of the higher-ups will be at the site. Hopefully, I'll be out on the road. Or it could be my chance to shine? well I'm up too late. 8am I have to be there. Well , I guess I don't have to be there. I'll choose to go in, because i choose to keep money coming in.